A Christmas to Remember
by stargazer0607
Summary: It’s the first Christmas Harry and Sirius spend together. Harry’s acting distant and quiet and Sirius begins to doubt that Harry really wants to live with him. Set after Prisoner of Azkaban. sick!Harry


Title: A Christmas to Remember

Summary: It's the first Christmas Harry and Sirius spend together. Harry's acting distant and quiet and Sirius begins to doubt that Harry really wants to live with him. Set after Prisoner of Azkaban.

Disclaimer: I own nothing but this fic's idea. But I do wish Sirius belonged to me.

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Outside Number Twelve Grimmauld Place, everything was covered in a white blanket of snow. Even though it was only four in the afternoon, colored twinkling lights could be seen up and down the street. It was Christmas Day. The first Christmas Harry was not spending at Hogwarts. The first Christmas Harry and his godfather, Sirius, were spending together.

Sirius had invited Remus and Tonks over for Christmas dinner to celebrate the holiday. Remus appreciated the offer, but didn't really want to intrude on Harry and Sirius' first Christmas together. Upon Sirius' insistence though, he decided they would come for the holiday.

The clinking of dishes and glasses and the smell of turkey and apple pie were wafting throughout the house. Humming could be heard from the kitchen. Tonks and Remus were helping get their Christmas dinner ready; the muggle way Remus insisted.

Sirius was taking a break from making dinner, on Remus' order, and was in the drawing room staring at the Christmas tree. He was thinking about the past few months and of Harry.

Harry had been fairly quiet since waking that morning. They both had breakfast and opened their Christmas presents but there was not a lot of talking. Sirius had tried to engage Harry in conversation throughout the morning, but nothing he tried worked. It seemed like Harry wasn't in the mood; and he was distant. Sirius had hoped their first Christmas together would be a happy one and one they would never want to forget. So far, that wasn't happening. Sirius wouldn't admit it yet, but he was getting worried.

Later that morning after cleaning the kitchen and drawing room, Sirius was sitting at the kitchen table drinking a cup of tea. He heard footsteps and watched as Harry quietly and slowly went up the stairs, presumably to his bedroom, without a word.

Sirius frowned and sighed as he put his tea down, and ran a hand through his hair. Harry just moved in yesterday afternoon but now he was beginning to have second thoughts about Harry living with him. Maybe it wasn't a good idea. Maybe Harry didn't like him after all. Harry definitely didn't seem happy about being there with him.

With his thoughts swirling around in his mind, Sirius glanced at the Christmas tree one more time and then walked to the grimy window and watched the snow fall.

Wiping his hands on a dishcloth, Remus walked up the stairs to the drawing room to find Sirius staring out the window, lost in thought. "Sirius?"

Sirius jumped at his name and turned around to face Remus. "Hi Moony," he said a bit sadly.

"Sorry for frightening you, Padfoot. I just wanted to let you know that it's almost time for dinner."

"Oh, Ok. Thanks." Remembering that he hadn't seen Harry for a few hours, he added, "I'll go up and get Harry." He started walking towards the stairs and stopped as he got next to Remus. "Thank you so much for helping with dinner. I can't begin to tell you how much I appreciate it."

"You're welcome," he said. Knowing that something was wrong with Harry and that it seemed to be bothering Sirius, he patted his arm and headed back to the kitchen.

Sirius watched his retreating form then went upstairs to get Harry. Seeing that Harry's bedroom door was closed, Sirius knocked. Getting no answer, he just stood in front of the door with his hand on the knob for a few seconds. Was Harry so miserable he just wanted to ignore him, he thought? He then took a deep breath and opened the door. He was surprised to find the room dark. Standing two feet inside the door, Sirius looked around the room.

With only a small amount of light filtering through the burgundy draperies that were drawn across the window above the four-drawer dresser, the bedroom looked empty. Along the left wall, the bed was unmade with a lump of blankets in the middle, the top of the desk held nothing but a lamp and clock, and there was no trunk or clothes anywhere in the room that Sirius could see. The room was too clean and neat for a thirteen year old to be living in, especially one who just arrived yesterday.

With an ache in his heart, Sirius' first thought was that Harry had packed up all his belongings and left without saying a word. He knew he was right in thinking that Harry didn't want to live with him. If Harry did leave, it was probably hours ago and Sirius would have no clue where to begin searching for him…or even if he should.

Feeling miserable and not wanting to go back down to eat dinner and having to explain why Harry wasn't there, Sirius walked over to the desk on the right side of the room while running a hand through his hair. Right now all he wanted was to be alone in his misery. As he pulled out the chair, he heard rustling coming from the bed. He quickly turned on the desk lamp and turned towards the bed.

It wasn't just a pile of blankets that he had seen on the bed in the dark room. There was someone underneath them. With a very small smile and a sigh of relief, Sirius walked to the bed and pulled back the thick burgundy and gold blankets. Harry was lying on his side with his back to Sirius. Sirius kneeled down so he was level with Harry. "Harry, it's time for dinner." Not getting a response, he tried again, this time shaking Harry's arm.

After three tries, Harry slowly opened his eyes, rolled over, and looked over at Sirius. He gave a yawn and drew the blankets back up to his chin with a shiver. "Sirius? Is something wrong?" he asked sleepily.

"Nothing's wrong. I just came to tell you that Remus and Tonks are here." He stood up. "And it's time for dinner."

"Okay." Harry yawned again while getting up, put on his glasses that were on the nightstand, and sluggishly followed his godfather down to the kitchen for dinner.

Everyone was seated around one end of the very large kitchen table, eating and discussing their New Year's Eve plans. Forty five minutes later, Sirius started clearing the table to get ready for dessert. He took his plate and an empty platter in front of him to the counter. Never having had a Christmas with his godson before, he decided that he just wanted to observe and enjoy everything for a few minutes. He leaned against the counter with his arms crossed in front of his chest and a smile on his face.

He watched as Tonks talked animatedly about her plans to both Remus and Harry, all the while still eating. He looked over to Remus who was helping himself to a second helping of mashed potatoes. Then his gaze fell to Harry. Harry wasn't paying attention to the conversation at all. He had one elbow on the table with his hand holding his head up and was staring at his plate, pushing the food around with his fork. It looked like Harry hadn't eaten anything. Sirius' smile turned to a frown. Was Harry so miserable living with him that he didn't even want to eat? He didn't like seeing his godson like this. He wished he knew what was bothering Harry, why he had been so quiet, and spent almost the entire day by himself. After a few minutes, he watched as Harry quietly got up from the table and walked up the stairs, presumably to bed or the drawing room.

With the frown still on his face, Sirius went back to the kitchen table. As he sat down, he glanced at Remus who had also noticed Harry leave. The two made eye contact and a few seconds later, turned their attention to Tonks, who didn't even notice that Harry had left. Sirius tried to pay attention to the conversation that was going on, but his mind kept darting to Harry.

A half hour later, Remus looked up at Sirius and followed his gaze towards the stairs. He knew Harry's behavior was really beginning to bother Sirius and decided to leave the two of them alone. "Well, Tonks, I think it's time to head home. Let's leave Sirius and Harry to finish their Christmas celebration alone."

The two got up from the table as Sirius retrieved their coats from the entrance hall closet.

"Harry, Remus and Tonks are leaving," Sirius semi-yelled towards the stairs. Receiving no reply and no sign of Harry, Sirius shrugged his shoulders. "I'm sorry about Harry," Sirius said looking from Remus to Tonks. "I don't know what's—"

"That's alright, Sirius," interrupted Remus. "I know that's not how he is normally." As he walked out the door he turned around. "Just take care of him."

Nodding, he closed the door as the two Apparated home. He went back to the kitchen and sat down at the table to finish his cup of coffee. His thoughts, of course turned back to Harry. He wanted to know if there was anything wrong; needed to know if Harry regretted agreeing to live with him now. They needed to talk to put Sirius' mind at ease, whatever the consequences. And Sirius knew the sooner the better. He didn't want to spend the rest of Harry's holiday vacation depressed about Harry's attitude towards him. He wanted Harry to be happy, even if it meant Harry not wanting to live with him.

Sirius got up from the table and placed his mug on the counter as he walked to the drawing room first in his search to find Harry to talk to him. He found Harry asleep, again, on the couch. He was lying on his left side, hands acting like a pillow and curled up, as much as he could be, shivering slightly. Like a repeat of earlier in the evening, Sirius kneeled down to be level with Harry and tried to wake him up. "Harry." There was no movement. He went to shake Harry awake and his hand brushed against Harry's cheek on the way to his arm. Harry's cheek was warm.

Seeing a shiver rack Harry's body, Sirius got up, grabbed the blanket that was against the back of the couch and draped it over Harry. He sat down on the couch in the small space between Harry's knees and arms. He lightly brushed Harry's bangs out of the way, and gently placed his hand on Harry's forehead. It was warm too. As Sirius sighed, now almost positive about why Harry was acting the way he was all day today, Harry shifted a little closer to the warmth of Sirius' body. Needing to wake his godson to see how he was feeling, and to take his temperature, Sirius again called Harry's name and gently shook his arm. "Harry?"

"Yeah?" Harry said groggily a few seconds later, as he opened his eyes and blinked a few times.

"Harry, are you feeling all right?" he asked softly.

Harry began pushing himself up on the couch. Instead of answering Sirius, he quickly buried his face in his left elbow and sneezed. "Hehcheh! Excuse me."

"Bless you."

Harry dropped his head back against the arm of the couch, pushed his glasses back up, and looked at Sirius. "I'm fine Sirius."

Sirius brought the blanket back up to Harry's shoulders when he started shivering again, and left his hands on his shoulders for a few seconds. "Are you sure you feel fine?" he asked again, looking intently at Harry.

"Yes." He then sneezed again into his elbow. "Heh-chuh!" He rubbed his nose and curled back up under the blanket.

"Harry," Sirius said gently, but with a bit of warning.

Harry looked up and met Sirius' concerned eyes. He knew he couldn't lie to his godfather. "No. I'm not fine," he said quietly.

Sirius continued to look at Harry with concern and worry, waiting for him to continue.

"I just feel yucky," Harry continued, a few seconds later after seeing the look in Sirius' eyes.

"Yucky?" Sirius said with a laugh. "Is that the technical term?"

Harry gave a small smile. "I feel cold and hot at the same time, my head is pounding, I'm achy all over, my throat hurts, I'm tired, and I'm stuffy." He sat up, coughed, and made more room for Sirius to sit on the couch next to him.

"Is that why you've been so quiet and kept to yourself today?" Sirius asked tenderly.

"Yeah," Harry said softly. "I was just really tired and my head hurt. I just didn't want to bother you with how I felt." He looked away from Sirius and said, almost in a whisper, "Or be a burden."

Sirius had to stop himself from opening his mouth in shock. Harry thought himself a burden? "It wouldn't have been a bother. Harry, you will never be a bother or a burden to me." He ruffled the hair on Harry's head. "You can tell me anything." He placed his hand on Harry's shoulder. "Now why don't you just sit here and relax. I'll see what I've got to make you feel better. I don't think I have any pepper-up potion, but I'll look." Sirius got up and went in search of everything he'd need for Harry.

Harry shifted on the couch so he was sitting normally and readjusted the blanket. Coughing a few times, he laid his head back and closed his eyes.

Not having any luck downstairs, Sirius went upstairs to see what he could find. Unfortunately, because he had been in hiding until recently and couldn't get any wizard medication or potions, all he had was Muggle medicine. He would rather have had the pepper-up potion, but the Muggle stuff would help Harry as well.

Ten minutes later, his arms laden with aspirin, tissues, a thermometer, a glass of water, and a decongestant, Sirius made his way back down to the living room. He set everything on the coffee table and sat down next to Harry. Much to Sirius' surprise and delight, Harry immediately moved closer to Sirius and rested his head against his shoulder. He was glad Harry felt relaxed enough around him. He wasn't too sure how much contact Harry was comfortable with, and didn't want to make Harry feel awkward or uncomfortable.

"Sirius," Harry said quietly, "I really don't feel good."

Sirius put his arm around Harry, rubbed his shoulder comfortingly a few times, and pulled him closer. "I know Harry."

A few seconds later, Harry quickly pulled out of Sirius' arm, turned away while cupping his hands over his nose and mouth, and sneezed powerfully. "HehCHOO! Heh…heh-IHHHcchhhuh!"

"Bless you!"

"Thanks," said Harry. He grabbed a tissue from the box on the table, blew his nose and put the tissue in his pocket.

"Come on," said Sirius, with his arm open, waiting for Harry to get back to the position he was in before he sneezed.

Harry quickly curled up next to Sirius, putting the blanket back around himself. He felt Sirius' put his arm back around him and smiled. "Sirius? Thank you."

Sirius looked down at Harry. "For what?" he asked, a little confused.

"For being here with me right now." Harry looked up at Sirius. "And for caring."

Sirius gave him a hug, and tightened his hold of him. "Why wouldn't I care? I'll always care about you. If you love someone, you care about them." Needing to let his godson know how he felt about him, he took a breath and continued tenderly. "I love you Harry, like you're my own son. And I can't begin to tell you how glad I am that you're here living with me now."

"Me too," said Harry through a yawn. "Heh-tcheh!" Harry sneezed unexpectedly, doing his best to turn away from Sirius since his hands and arms were under the blanket. "Sorry," he said apologetically, then rested his head against Sirius again.

Sirius squeezed Harry's shoulder. "Why don't I take your temperature? I'd prefer to use a wand, but I don't have one since I got out of Azkaban." Sirius removed his arm from around Harry. "We'll just have to take your temperature the Muggle way," he said while getting the thermometer from the table.

"I'm used to a thermometer," Harry replied as he sat up, took the thermometer from Sirius and placed it under his tongue.

After it beeped, Sirius took the thermometer gently out of Harry's mouth. "37.9. Yep, you've got a fever." He placed the thermometer on the table and opened the bottle of aspirin. He handed one to Harry with the glass of water. "This should bring your temperature down."

Harry swallowed the aspirin and put the glass back on the table. "Thanks." Before sitting back, Harry took a tissue and sneezed. "Heh-ihhchh!"

"Bless you."

Harry continued sneezing. "Huhchoo. Heh-hetchuh. HehKTCHhheh!"

"Bless you!" said Sirius warmly. He then began rubbing Harry's back. "Why don't you go on up to bed and get some sleep?"

"Okay," said Harry, tiredly. He rubbed at his nose and sneezed one more time. "Huhchh!"

Sirius took the box of decongestants and popped out one of the pills. "Here," he said as he handed Harry the pill and a glass of water. "This will help with the sneezing and congestion."

Harry swallowed the pill then slowly got up. "Thank you. Goodnight Sirius," he said through a yawn.

"Goodnight Harry." I'll check up on you later on tonight.

"Okay." Harry gave Sirius a smile and headed off to bed, coughing along the way.

Sirius watched Harry slowly climb the stairs to bed and started smiling when he realized that he now had a family to care for.

Forty-five minutes later, after straightening up the drawing room, turning off all the lights, and having one more cup of coffee, Sirius grabbed everything from the coffee table and headed upstairs as well. He quietly opened the door to Harry's room and dropped off the items on the desk. He turned to the bed and saw Harry, fast asleep already. Seeing him shiver a little, he got a spare blanket and covered Harry with it. As he was bent over, he affectionately combed his fingers through Harry's hair a few times, and gave him a quick kiss on the forehead. "Get well soon, Harry," he whispered. Standing up, he began to feel a little ridiculous. It wasn't like Harry was a little child who needed to be kissed goodnight. He shouldn't have kissed him.

He watched Harry sleep for another minute then left for his own room. He paused at the door and looked back at the bed, remembering what Harry said earlier on the couch. Harry thought he was a bother and a burden when he was sick and didn't need to be cared for. What did the Dursley's do to him he wondered. He gave a sad smile and immediately changed his mind about the kiss. He doubted Harry would have minded the love and affection he was showing him now. He had a feeling the Dursley's never showed him any kind of love.

Sirius pulled the door half way closed and went to his own room and did the same. As he began to fall asleep, he repeated the promise he made to James Potter thirteen years ago, when he became Harry's godfather. "I will do everything in my power to show Harry that I will always love and care for him." With one last glance toward Harry's room he took a deep breath, closed his eyes and fell asleep.

END


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